The Wannabe 100th Post

I'd been saving this 100th post for a special entry, like a film review of a favourite film, or a preview of a new film I would shoot for the post - but instead, it has taken me almost three months to get something written!

Then I realise that this isn't my 100th post. It's my 96th, with four drafts in store. 

And then I realise again - I'm an idiot.

So, I'm going to carry on with what would have been the special 100th post, only just a little less special than what I imagine it could be. I thought I would write a quick post about the year that has ended, and of what I look forward to in this new year. I hope that this will start the ball running (yet again) for a long time to come.

Every year comes with its own challenges. 2011 was simply different. I went back to uni with a fresh mind, and with this came a fresh start to my future endeavours. The year and a half long hiatus away from the university life must have been the best decision I have ever made, and I don't think it is one I will regret. I did well in most of my subjects, and although I failed to make most classes in attendance, I managed to run away with results higher than the average student. I'm not one to boast about things like this, but I'd suddenly done miles better than I did when I first went to uni in 2008. That's got to prove something.

University life was no simple breeze this year. I juggled work with studies, and it is true what they say about doing so. It's no simple task. I cut down the number of subjects in my second semester to accommodate for full-time work at the Korean Film Festival, which was something I felt I needed to do and it had always been a desire of mine to do more for this young festival only in its second year. I substituted class time with over-time at the festival, and thankfully it didn't show in my end of year results.

I traveled around Australia more for film. And by 'more', I mean doing back-to-back trips to Melbourne, which is hardly anything. I saw more films at the international film festivals (Sydney and Melbourne), and for the first time traveled to a different city for work. Film had taken me to new places and new experiences in 2011.

I returned to Malaysia for the first time in a record (by my standards) two years, which was one of the best experiences I have had of my home country. It was refreshing and revealing of so many things I must thank for in life. It showed me a place in time that I'd forgotten, and wish not to forget any longer. It reminds me of how far I've come, and how time has changed everything. It's simply amazing how a place can cause such an experience to one's self.

2011 has taught me that in this industry, no matter the differences in cultural ethics between the companies you join, hard work is almost always left unnoticed. It's pessimistic of me to say such a thing, and having only been so immersed in the industry through internships, volunteer work and even the odd paid job (including the one I am currently in), I can assure you that all your hard work will often seem like it is never taking you anywhere. The number of hours you spend in over-time don't matter. The number of friends you lose from all those over-time hours don't matter. No matter how hard you work, you may always find yourself stuck in the same place without so much as a thank you or a pat on the back. The pessimist aside, I do still believe that there is hope to be seen some day. Such a thought can't be used as an excuse for working less hard, or striving to be the best. One day, it will all be worth the while, and I sincerely hope that this year will be the year when I see that glimmer of light. That light that says, 'Well, Raelene, you are definitely moving in the right direction.'

For now, in the early days of 2012, I await my new challenges. If I were to keep a set of resolutions (they are such a forgotten myth), it would be to teach myself patience. Everything will happen in time, and there will be as many opportunities in the future than there are in the present. They will be better, even. It will be better.

Hopefully I can look back at this post one year from now and be happy with where I am, in respect to where I was. It'd also be nice to look back at this post then and see that it wasn't my last post since forever!

So, here's to a new year, a new start and new challenges.

The whirlwind that was KOFFIA

One thing this blog has thought me over time is that I hardly keep my promises. That is, when it comes to maintaining this site - I hope. 

June came and went, and I had finally found the time to return home after two years on holiday in July. It was partly because I had first 'lost' my job due to a conflict of interests (it ended well, so not to worry!), and I had returned to university for the second time at the start of the year which in itself brought it's own benefits - ie. lengthy school holidays. The trip was refreshing, and really pulled me back to my roots of being a Malaysian. 

Shortly after that, I returned to Sydney to a job that Kieran managed to pull together for me at his office. Basically, long story short, I had given the next two months of my life to assisting him with running the Korean Film Festival in Australia. In its second year, it was even bigger than before expanding to Melbourne for the first time, which I traveled down for in September. In that time, I'd learned that hard work can often go unrewarded in a work environment like this, and it's all about keeping your chin up when it tries to bring you down. 

Now that it's over, the days I live are shorter, less interesting and simply mediocre. I had missed an incredible amount of classes for work, and now I've been taking the time to bring myself back up to speed with life. I work part-time at Kieran's office as an assistant film programmer for a weekly film night we run, or basically working as his assistant. 

That's about it for now. No promises for when the next entry will be up, but I'm hoping to post some photographs of the last few months up as a visual aid. I'm hoping!

Stillness

So I may have taken on more than I can handle. With two 10 hour days at work each week, tutorials and lectures on every other day, and now soccer games every Sunday and training one evening a week about 50 minutes away, life hasn't been more challenging.

Work gets tougher week by week as my manager tightens the leash on me. The further I get through this year, the less sleep I get and the more mistakes I make at work. I have been 'spoken to' at least once every week now that I have started part-time. It's hard every Tuesday and Wednesday morning to want to go to work. Nevertheless, one must work to play, and work to play I must.

The classes this semester at uni have been interesting. I've been finding it quite difficult to get back into the mode of deeper analysis, so much that I can never seem to contribute to class discussions. I'm really enjoying my film studies course at the moment as it's the only class I can sit and contribute to greater detail in. Having noted down all the dates for when assignments are due, I can see that once the fifth week of university begins, which is 3 weeks from now, I will have a far tougher time at juggling work, uni and life.

I am quite upset that I feel like I have been pulled away from my love in film. I haven't had the time to see as many films as I'd like to, and it's the same deal with wanting to make films. When I am free, I am either sleeping or staying fit. When I'm not, I am stuck in this ditch.

Now, I apologise if this post sounds as if it has been written with half a heart. I think my mind is where bed is right now, and I should follow. I hope the next blog post will be more positive than this.

Happy things for you all.

Back to the books

Are you in the mood for a surprise today?

Well, upon accepting my offer to study at AFTRS, I received a letter in the mail stating I had been accepted into a university course I applied last year - before I started working, and before I applied to AFTRS. I had applied for two different courses at the University of Technology, Sydney - one a Bachelor of Arts in Communication to major in Media Arts and Production, and the other is the same degree but with a major in Information and Media. I was accepted into the Media Arts and Production major and degree.

This came as a HUGE surprise. Firstly, I had completely forgotten about this application and shrugged it off once I started working. Secondly, I simply wasn't expecting to get in! I wasn't even expecting to get into the two AFTRS courses I applied for, which is still a surprise to this day.

At the end of the day, I took the university offer and with a heavy heart, canceled my enrollment in the Graduate Certificate in Screen Culture at AFTRS. I figured it was time I went back to uni to finish what I set out to do 3 years ago, and to feel better about dropping out of university in the first place some year and a half ago. I feel ready, funnily enough. And not the kind of ready I felt when I had just finished school. I feel the kind of ready that gives me the power to take on new adventures and seek new heights.

In short, I feel great.

I know I'll go back to AFTRS one fine day when I am done with uni. Besides, I think a post-graduate course will be more useful to me once I've learned to live a little more than I already have.

On a side note, I was lucky enough to keep my job after accepting the offer at uni. Once uni starts, I drop down to part-time and will work half the hours I work FT. The total amount a week being 20 hours, squeezed into two, long 10 hour days a week inbetween my time at uni.

Truth be told, nothing comes easy anymore. Life, a challenge it is!